The heart is a whore – kind of

What is love?

Recently  I  had news from a friend,. Happy content news where she told me she had a wonderful boyfriend and the might just be in love. The news did not have an impact on me to me because this friend has a tendency for being in love quite a lot. Even after her previous bad break up that had cost her such a long time to get over, now here she is again .. in love.

Is it really love?

Im sceptical of  her perception of “love”. In my experience I have had many good relationships, but rarely would I have concluded that I was in love.  All of them ended precisely because since the “love” component was lacking, I found it pointless to go on.  Later on, I found someone whom I felt in love with and from that experience, well, I concluded that I would not be able to love anyone else.  I’m still with this person and I can’t see my life without them. If this person leaves my life I don’t think I would easily find someone else. Love happens… once.. or does it?

Maybe the heart is a whore. They say once you lose your virginity then it becomes easier to have sex. You lose the fear, the misconceptions, the self-consciousness, and you start to enjoy it more and more. So it makes me wonder if the heart also loses its virginity when it comes to love.  I have to admit that I only have one “love” experience and I have been luck that it hasn’t ended.  I’m still with the person I lost my love virginity to. But what if it did end? Would I just as easily be able to latch onto someone else due to my past experience in doing it? Love them with the same intensity?  doesn’t love just comes once in a lifetime?

So either the heart is a whore, or people *think* they love someone when they really don’t.

Things however are never black and white, they can’t be so easily put as “either or”. My final theory is a mixture of both answers. I think love only happens with a special person. However, given the world’s population, there might not only be one special person. We are all different. I might feel love for Mr. Black sparked by the specific combination Mr. Black’s and my experiences and traits; but then Mr Black dumps me and I find Mr. Orange and then again there are new sparks. The sparks cannot be the same as the previous ones, and the feelings of love produced will be entirely new. So I guess it is a combination of the heart being able to give itself to many special people – but not all. Mr. Pink might come by and try and be a gentleman and all, but nothing might happen. With this I would have to conclude that love is very unique and every love is different.

In that sense I guess my friend has been very lucky to have found love many times. Her portfolio of experiences I’m sure is rich with descriptions of how different one love was from another and how different the sparks felt like… and how teach experience felt new.

Can we stick to one love or should we go around letting the heart get laid with different hearts enriching the scope of its understanding of what love is?. The one love approach works if you are completely fulfilled in all the ways possible. Also it reduces the insecurity to be out there in the field trying to find a significant other. At the same time, there is no guarantee that there might be a lot of people who can click with you or maybe there is only one. Most people only find one through their whole lives.  Im certainly glad to have found mine, for there is always a chance that there only is one for me.

What do you think?

Advertisement